Saturday, June 11, 2011

A message to those who read these terrible little blogs

Most recently I came across these blogs, these most unpatriotic and borderline terrorist affiliates that claim that law school is a bad investment. First and foremost law schools provide their students with the opportunity to become lawyers! And everyone knows that American lawyers make big money! Just look at all the TV shows with those fancy good looking attorneys in their fancy cars and fancy suits. Sure, the economy is going through a "soft patch" right now but this is all transitory. I have faith in Ben Shalom Bernanke's skills in the use of the modern day printing press and with his binary 1's and 0's the economy will soon return to its normal footing. As the stock market rises, the 10% of the population that owns 90% of the stocks will feel wealthier as a result of the increase in the values of their portfolios, and as a result will spend more money which will lead to hiring and job creation, which will lead to more hiring. Thus a virtuous cycle will begin and recent law graduates will find employment as more customer traffic will lead to more slip and falls leading to more job opportunities for plaintiff and defense attorneys. While it is true that zero percent interest rates and weekly POMOS running in the billions has led to a tremendous increase in the values of commodities, this again is transitory and inflation pressures will reverse back to the government and bankster approved 2% annual rate. Just have faith in the ponzi whoops I meant US economy and all will be well. Most recently the CME has raised margin requirements on these evil speculators causing the price of commodities to fall. It is irrelevant that commodities that are limited in supply are having their prices arbitrarily fall to lower levels. Anything and everything must be done in order to preserve and support the greatest economic recovery in world history. So make sure you tell your family and friends to apply to law schools so that law school faculty can make more money which they will spend into the economy thereby further assisting the current virtuous cycle.

Most recently I have heard this unpatriotic nonsense, this near terrorist drivel that the real unemployment rate is closer to 17% as opposed to the 9.1% headline number provided by the holy and all wise Bureau of Labor Statistics. The reality is that people who are unemployed deserve to be unemployed because they are obviously losers and do not have the skills which are necessary in the “new” economy. My government allies have recently informed me that such persons will soon be designated as nonpersons, because chronically unemployed just sounds too unpatriotic and has the potential to hurt the ponzi whoops I mean “new” economy. Already the labor department has done a good job by designated soon to be labeled nonpersons as having dropped out of the labor force. In due time our holy and all knowing government will implement the new designations and this negative and pessimistic drivel will be out of the minds of employed citizens, causing them to borrow more money on their credit cards which will further enrich the Fortune 500 which will lead to prosperity that this great nation has never known.

In addition, I would like to take the time to personally thank our former holy president and warrior of righteousness, George W. Bush. In his infinite wisdom and incredible foresight, he showed congress the light and revised the rules of the bankruptcy code so that private student loans could no longer be discharged in bankruptcy. This was a most wise and righteous decision as certain graduates that attended the greatest universities ever known in the history of the universe were discharging their loans though bankruptcy. What manner of scum! These demons, these imbeciles failed to find gainful employment which would allow them to pay off the loans which were graciously provided by the holy banking institutions. These poor banks were being ripped off by these lazy, stupid and most importantly, these unproductive soon to be designated as nonpersons as they failed to pay back the loans that these deceived financial institutions lent them. I fear the holy government has not taken enough measures to punish these domestic terrorists that were given financial assistance to attend the greatest universities. While the measures taken against student loan debtors in default are somewhat in the right direction, what we need to do is incarcerate these bastards and make them work in prison camps until the debt to society is paid back 4 fold. 1 fold for the principal, 2 fold for the interest, and 4 fold in punitive damages as this original capital could have been lent to another far more productive citizen. Woe to you oh unproductive soon to be designated nonpersons. I am confident that far more stringent measures will be implemented against you in the very near future. In a final word about our Lords and Masters of the Universe (and the people shall say Amen), if you ever hear anyone ever utter a negative word about our beloved banking institutions, I fully expect that you report them for “civil disobedience” as any and all negative statements against our beloved banks will only hurt the economic recovery. I trust that you all will fulfill your patriotic duty.

I would like to add that it is extremely important to stay away from internet websites as they have no credibility, no authorization and in general, spout a bunch of negativity and lies that seek only to hurt the aspirations of our nation’s youth. Indeed, the poor law schools, the most prestigious of all educational institutions have suffered tremendously as a result of the vicious slander and libel that these despicable scam blogs have produced for the last two years. I have already notified my allies in the holy and all righteous Department of Homeland Security to investigate these terrorist blogs at once. Subprime, Nando, J-dog, Angel and many others have done irreparable harm by poisoning the minds of prospective law students with doubt about their futures as attorneys. I hope and pray that they be punished severely for the unpatriotic falsehoods that they have espoused. I expect nothing less than lifetime imprisonment for the harm they have done. Especially this nando that has had the audacity to “profile” our beloved law schools by analogizing them with pieces of feces. And for the love of God do not listen to this lunatic named subprime as he has these paranoid fears of dollar devaluation. Doesn’t this fool know that because Bernanke is creating more dollars that we all become wealthier? As we all know, having more of something is better, right? Subprime is simply doubleungood so please never visit his pathetic little blog again. But of all the scambloggers, this Kunt, the author of a pathetic blog by the name of First Tier Toilet has committed the gravest sin of all. Kunt has defiled the name of the Holiest of Holies, the definition of success of America, the Tier 14. How dare Kunt even have the audacity to mention the words “Tier 14” in a negative tone! This Kunt has committed a grave unpardonable sin, one that requires the President of These United States to take personal action at once. I hope Lord Obama does not hesitate to reprimand this apostate of apostates, that has committed such a crime, that forevermore he shall not even be named nothing else but apostate.

So please my fellow younglings, stay away from these blogs for your and the nation’s wellbeing. CNN, FOX, MSN, ABC, NBC, AOL, YAHOO and many other corporate and government approved media institutions will guide you in your goal of supporting your beloved Government in its quest for more tax revenue. And this is why we work, to pay debt and interest to the banks and taxes to our all wise government. Eventually I hope the nation dispels of this archaic and barbarous rule of 2 terms for the executive. It is obvious that congress reacts to slow to emergency situations. Thankfully, Lord Obama, due to his Tier 14 Harvard education has studied the constitution well and in his wisdom and knowledge, decided to assist our allies in NATO in the bombing campaign against this Ghadaffi. When I hear the proles, the untouchables of society complain that Lord Obama did not seek the “approval” from Congress in this humanitarian action, I shake in anger and rage as they doubt the wisdom of our Dear Leader. Don’t these fools know that Lord Obama attended the second ranked school out of all the Tier 14? These idiots, these animals. They are less human and soon I hope they fall into the ranks of the nonpersons.

But of all my dreams, I pray and pray to my god Fiat that eventually this ungodly and demonic “constitution” eventually gets torn into quadtrillion pieces. Just the fact that the supreme court had to “decide” whether or not corporations had the right to spend as much money as they wanted in campaign contributions is a perfect example as to why this constitution needs to be abolished post haste. These monoliths, these guardians of society, the Fortune 500 shouldn't’t even have to deal with “rights” at all. Sure, there was a time when personal rights meant something, but this is the future and in this future what is good for the Fortune 500 is good for America. And if you are a good enough, smart enough, obedient enough, and exceptional beyond all others, then perhaps you too may join the exclusive hierarchy of corporate governance. Of course not all of us can be corporate directors because as we all well know, humans are not created equal. So if we cannot ascend the glorious ladder of corporate governance, then our duty is to stay obedient and support whatever edicts these institutions implement. And if they make 500 times more than the average employee, good for them. After all, due to their infinite wisdom and intelligence, they are better and thereby deserve what they earn. It is our duty as Citizens to support our leaders and never question their abilities and authority. And so what if they outsource jobs to third world nations. If your job gets outsourced and you end up a nonperson then you have deserved your fate. As logic shows, if your job was outsourced, then it is obvious that you weren’t working hard enough. If you fear that your job may be at risk of being outsourced, I recommend that you take Adderol or any other similar medication as it will help you focus more and work harder to further enrich the profits of the Fortune 500. As a doubleplusgood, you will be assisting Pfizer in their quest for more profits as your purchases of Adderol will add to their bottom line. And if you already take any medications from any of our corporate pharmaceutical companies, then you are already serving your corporate parents well.

Debt is good. Taxes are better. Obedience is absolutely necessary. Take heed of my wise words and remember them as you continue to serve your corporate masters. I will return to bless you all with more of my wisdom in a few months. I have successfully hacked into this fool’s little “blog” and will be watching what transpires here. God Bless these United States of America.

Very truly yours,
Senor Ponzi

9 comments:

  1. Nice parody of industry apologist bitches, subprime. I love the economics/money flow angle, too.

    Maybe, we will see sewers of law start hire people to post such drivel. As it stands now, the trolls come across as ignorant high school students.

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  2. I'm confident that if Thomas Jefferson School of Law changed its name to Barack Obama School of Law or George W. Bush School of Law, the embattled law school will reap success upon success. It's painfully obvious that the school is suffering because it is named after a fool that believed in liberty and freedom. In fact this idiot was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence. The reality is that America would have been far more prosperous under the rule of the King. After all, certain human beings are Kings for a reason. As soon as this lovely San Diego Law School changes its name to a more modern and enlightened president, I am confident that applications will triple, tuition will hopefully triple as well, and the amazing professors will be able to spend their hard earned money in the local economy, further supporting the already budding economic recovery. I have already contacted Dean Hasl with my recommendation.

    Senor Ponzi

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  3. LOL

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNqQx7sjoS8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edchtf9MS7g&feature=related

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  4. Wow! This is horribly written, mate.

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  5. He is not Kunt. He is Knut.

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  6. Did I see your nose growing with each sentence? ;-)

    I thought I was the only one (besides a couple of contributors to Lew Rockwell's site) who understood that the wild inflation of tuition and the head-spinning volume of debt students have taken on to cover it have had the same motive and will end in the same way as the subprime mortgage fiasco.

    One thing I notice is that the people who understand this have almost invariably been marooned in dying industries and occupations. Interestingly, they include people with advanced degrees (including JDs) and people with very little formal education. When the people who've earned bachelor's degrees and made themselves comfortably middle class, and those lawyers who are still prospering, start to lose what they have, then we will see change. And it won't be pretty.

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  7. We are too far down the Keynesian highway to ever come back. Such a move would probably result in a MASSIVE depression - x10, perhaps, x20 times worse than this blip we are experiencing. The main problem it seems to me is the absolutist belief that spending = growth. I think the better way to put it is: spending = seditive due to the massive increase in debt and bloat of the gov't.

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  8. Awesomeness. Thank you.

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