Tuesday, June 29, 2010

My conversation with a biglaw partner

Last night my parents had some people over as they will be leaving for Greece for the next 3 months. One of the guests is this biglaw junior partner whom we shall refer to as Jim. I’ve known this guy for 15 years now and occasionally have to put up with his arrogant comments. Last night was the worst as his arrogance and smear campaign were at all time highs while my confidence is dipping into all time lows.

One of the other guests was my mega rich Uncle. As usual every time we have these little parties biglaw Jim always sucks up to megarich uncle. Last night was the same story as Jim and Uncle were sitting outside, smoking cigars. I went out to have a cig myself and was told by Jim "join us Subprime, we want to talk to you". And so the torture began.

Here is an excerpt of our conversation.

Jim: so, Subprime, what’s your plan, what are going to do with yourself, what plans do you have for your life?

Subprime: Its tough Jim, its literally impossible to find work. I’m still looking. I go to the restaurants with my Dad a few times a week.

Some off the topic words are said. Then,

Subprime: So Jim, what’s going on with the CMBS market, I hear that those securities are getting murdered. (CMBS= commercial mortgage backed securities). Jim happens to work in the CMBS market so I wanted to get a inside scoop.

Jim: you don't need to worry about what I’m doing with CMBS. That’s not important. What’s important is that you get a job, that you expand, get experience, find your niche, and grow. You need to stop worrying about CMBS and what you need to start worrying about is how your going to take care of your wife, how your going to make your car payment, how your going to move out. This is what you need to worry about. You need to stop trying to save the world. You see, Uncle, this is the problem with Subprime, he is arrogant. Subprime, what you need to do is eat some "humble pie". You problem is that you want to start at the top, but it doesn’t work like that in life. You have to start at the bottom and move your way up to the top.

(At this point I am infuriated and wanted to rip his fucking head off) I respond, as calmly as I could,

Subprime: Hey Jim, can't you answer a simple question? I simply asked you what was going on with the CMBS market. I happen to know and understand this market and since you happen to work with CMBS it was a great opportunity to get some insider perspective. I have never stated my intention to save the world, I just follow markets as they are LEADING INDICATORS of the economy. And with regards to my worrying about the things you mentioned that I SHOULD be worrying about, what do you think I do everyday? Morning, noon, afternoon, night, midnight, this is what I think about. Its my fucking life Jim. You actually think I don’t worry about these things? And because I ask you one simple question about CMBS, you think I don’t think about getting a job, about how to better my life? That’s a stupid assumption to make.

(At this point he was irritated himself as I responded to him in such a manner)

Jim: The problem with you Subprime is that you have tunnel vision (as he imitates someone having tunnel vision). You need to stop trying to get the best job out there and take whatever you can get. You see Uncle, that’s the problem with this younger generation. They all want to work 40 hours a week and make $200,000 per year. You should see some of my associates, they act like its a 9-5 job. They don't put in any extra effort. Just take any job you can get. Your up here (shows with this hand), you need to come down here (lowers his hand).

Subprime: for your information, I can't get ANY legal job let alone a good legal job. The only thing I have is a part time (10 hrs a week lately) gig with some solo out of LA. So how do I have tunnel vision then? Why don’t you explain that to me?

Jim: He begins to ramble off topic of how he has respect for his senior partner, talking to Uncle. A few minutes pass.

Subprime: You still haven’t answered my question. You allege that I have tunnel vision and am arrogant, please provide guidance as to how I have tunnel vision and why I am arrogant. (What I wanted to say was this: No Jim, I will never ever kiss your partner ass the same way your junior ASSociates do. And if you ever fucking insult me the way you did in my house again I will beat you so bad that you will call the hospital home for a good month)

Jim: I’m proud of you so far Subprime. You finished law school, passed the bar on your first try. Now you need to finish the job. He again ignored my question, would not answer me, and spoke with Uncle.

I at that point went upstairs and waited for his punk ass to leave. Infuriated out of my mind. Its one thing to fuck with someone by being an arrogant prick, its another to kick someone while they are down. He seriously ran the risk of getting a massive beating last night. I’m not crazy enough to do that with my family at home but last night I came pretty close. Instead of saying something along the lines of "keep your head up Subprime, hopefully things will get better" he chose to berate and embarrass me in front of my uncle.

The other day I posted how the rulers of this country have serious ego problems and think they are so much better than us. This Jim is a perfect example of this attitude. How the fuck can he say that people want to work 40 hours a week and still make $200,000? Does he not realize that the economy is imploding all around him? Of course not, because as junior partner he makes a good $25,000 per month. But the one thing that these cunts never think about is that the law of the jungle still reigns supreme. That people will snap and fight back against their insults. I know he sensed my rage at him as I kept staring him right in the eyes with a nasty glare while he would keep looking at every direction except at me lol. For me that is a victory, the fact that he didn't have the balls to look me in the eye after talking all that shit.

The point I’m trying to make is that us "little" people still have to have our self respect. We need to hold our heads up high. Never let any son of a bitch put us down. No matter what any one says to you, now matter how bad the insult, there is one thing that they can never take away from you, and that is your ability to give them a good beating. Its amazing how quickly he stopped running his mouth when I got aggressive with him. The fucking coward wouldn’t even answer my question.

There is a time for peace, and a time for war. For us tunnel vision, arrogant, requiring to eat humble pie little people, it’s definitely time for war. I know that violence emanates from my posts and I'm glad that it does. This society has been pussified for far too long. We've been trained to never release anger, to always stay calm and proper. This is the tactic that the powers that be use to subjugate the people. If a 4th grader gets into a school fight, they send him to the psychologist and drug the child because he is probably "ADD". A 15 year old client of mine is getting charged with Assault with a Deadly Weapon for hitting a punk kid with a skateboard. He whacked the other guy once with it and then they had a classic 15 year old fistfight. They both got whupped, went home and licked their wounds. Unfortunately for my client, the school police detained him, and then charged him with ADW.

Ridiculous. But this is how the system is set up now. Personally, I would rather starve then be berated by some punk that I could wipe the floor with.


  1. Great story, and I think you put him in his place. I don't understand why he was berating you when you are doing exactly everything right.

    1. He said you should network. Aren't you doing just that by inquiring about the CMBS market? Isn't that networking and asking specifically about a field?

    2. He said you should start small. Well, you're working for your dad's restaurant and doing part time legal work.

  2. Fuck him.

    I don't know his backstory, but most biglaw partners started out as associates right out of law school. They may have worked their way up through their firm, but I don't think they know anything about the legal job market, or what it means to start small. (Much less the actual practice of law.)

    It rings hollow coming from someone who hasn't had to worry about how to make ends meet. It is demeaning for people in that position to suggest that you just suck it up and start a practice or intern for free somewhere; to them this shows you are motivated. The reality is that with $100K of debt, most law students can't afford to do that.

  3. "(What I wanted to say was this: No Jim, I will never ever kiss your partner ass the same way your junior ASSociates do. And if you ever fucking insult me the way you did in my house again I will beat you so bad that you will call the hospital home for a good month)"

    So why didn't you?

    "He seriously ran the risk of getting a massive beating last night."

    Oh, god, this is pathetic. You're every little wimp who gets mad at someone who can kick his ass from here to Kiev and then, when he's run to the safety of his basement, starts mouthing off to all his equally wimpy pals about how the big guy came this close - THIS CLOSE - to a total beatdown! But you know - didn't want to offend Mom or get thrown in jail (my fists are legally registered as dangerous instruments, yo), so I didn't. But I COULD HAVE!

    Skip the laughable claims of what you COULD HAVE done and just admit that you were furious but completely impotent to do anything about it.

  4. You know why he was irritated because CBMS are probably doing bad, your question probably reminded him of his work stress and how he contributes to the economic collapse of this country--hence why are you trying to save the world vis a vis I know I'm helping to destroy it! (doesn't justify his behavior at all)

  5. szoszolo:

    Congratulations! After 40 posts on this blog you are the first to talk shit to me. And I was wondering why it was taking so long to get a hater comment.

    And yes you are absolutely right, I am one scared little bitch.

    Have a nice day :)

  6. I'm guessing it was less a factor of being scared that not wanting an all expenses paid vacation to county jail. Where you can participate in fun activities like smoking pole near the metal toilet, and fighting a crack-head for your shoes.

    The partner seems like someone who has had everything fall into his lap his entire life and, because you were sold a ponzi scheme followed by an economic implosion it is all your fault.

    Fuck him and his d-bag ways.

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  8. People like him have been hazed so badly by their immediate superiors, it follows that being insecure assholes who try to make people "beneath" them feel like shit is second nature for them. Before the blowout he was whining about how senior partner took credit on a client that he brought in and billed $300,000 for the firm. So by me asking him a question about a field that only "gods" like him work in probably brought out all the trauma he has endured in the 14 years of his biglaw career. What a horrible way to live. Either way, fuck him hahahaha

  9. I agree with the time for war sentiment. It is my fear but ultimate belief that the plight of the lost generation will be ignored until somebody finally snaps and starts rampaging in a law school or law firm. Who wants to be a martttyr?

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  11. szoszolo must be an industry shill.

  12. Nope, just a practicing lawyer who thinks that guys who talk big about what they coulda done or almost did are pathetic. If you feel that strongly about the conversation, don't crawl off to beg for support on a blog - stand up, grow a pair of balls, and make your argument directly to Jim and Uncle. (Without all the "Ima gonna fuck you up" posturing.)

  13. szoszolo:
    Some background history. Ive known Jim since I was 12. My parents are very good friends with his parents. My father was his very first client and has been his client for the past 14 years of Jim's law career. The latest easement cost my dad $40,000. And yes Mr. Jim got a big cut of that as pops is his client.

    So for this guy to talk that much shit to me IN SPITE of all my father has done for him, to do it in my backyard, at a time when im down in the fucking dumps, is enough to infuritate anyone. Thank God for this blog as it allowed me to get it all out.

    Other than the few wishes of physical doom I wanted to inflict on the guy, the point of the post was to show how incredibly arrogant these people are. Even to the point where they will diss good family friends. I should have included more background before beginning the backround.

    And you are right, I should not be talking tough talk on the blog. Makes me look dumb.

  14. Gotta agree with LegalNihilist here. This guy worked his way up in his firm, but he definitely didn't "start small" working part-time for peanuts! These people never had it as hard as the Lost Generation, so any holier-than-thou advice they have to give is just bullshit.

  15. Damn subprime, that guy was a dick. Putting others down is probably the only pleasure this sick bastard gets in his daily grind.

    It must be tough being married and struggling like this at the same time. Keep up the good work.

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