Law Firm Seeks 4th Year Associate for 50k salary

Was scrolling through Craigslist as I occasionally take a look to see if there is a decent part time hourly gig when I saw this gem.

Seeking an associate with a strong desire to succeed

Mid-sized law firm, specializing in Civil Litigation, and Consumer Protection Class Actions has an immediate opening for a full-time Associate Attorney (2-4 yrs. attorney experience) in its Woodland Hills office. Firm Applicants must possess CA Bar admission, excellent research skills, able to really work a case by creating and responding to discovery, able to write effective meet and confers, and a willingness to learn. Candidates with some Federal Court experience preferred, but not required. Starting salary is $50,000 a year with health insurance, and annual bonus based upon performance. This is an outstanding growth opportunity for an exceptional, career-minded attorney.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/lgl/3704971462.html

For those that are not familiar with Woodland Hills, CA it is a suburb of Los Angeles in the region known as the San Fernando Valley. Í see gems like this pop up all the time. Let me inform you all that Woodland Hills is ridiculously expensive to live in. A simple search on Google will show that a decent one bedroom will go for $1400.00 per month with a two bedroom as high as $1800.00.

http://www.apartments.com/California/Woodland-Hills/Lombardi-Apartments/30268?searchCriteria=iTK0g3c1wOwh7iBcaFR2dGMcVg9RGnLffTa1jhqykOb9XmAoz6nWP8iHpdaROdeTU/9JyIHATXAd5L2qAhOljYdpFi1Wk6aArMbFhEUHDIZoAyfvYrdq5gTyS3hiUB5x4S8j6vwsq1zTiEiq1v/1xNMxiObPBx2ng7jG86c7/F0seEY9DyMtEQ==&sid=eceb3a76-5fea-4756-8269-d219edf8d2fa&frontdoor=google&partner=google&match=4

Lets break down that 50 large for a struggling 4th year associate:

Assuming debt load of Undergrad and Law School expenses of $120,000.00
50k, California taxes of 26 percent, 13k in tax. 37k net remaining
37,000 / 12 = $3,083.00 net per month
Assume this debt slave wants to be debt free in 15 years...
$1,078.00 in debt service per month
Assume one bedroom apartment for a near 30 year old for $1400.00
$3,083.00
- 1078.00 loan
- 1400.00 rent
$605.00 remaining for food, gas, car, clothing, TV, entertainment, savings.

But what if this young lad needed, God forbid, a TWO BEDROOM APARTMENT!!!!!! As a 4th year practicing attorney!!!
Well that would leave him with...
3083.00
- 1078.00
- 1800.00
$205.00 remaining for food, gas, car, clothing, TV, entertainment, savings.

Of course neither above scenario would be plausible without a roomate paying rent OR the loans put on the life long plan. But god forbid someone actually wanted to get out of the interest expense trap these are the conditions that he would have to subject himself to. God forbid this (let's assume guy) wanted to get married and have a child. Under no circumstances would this salary coupled with the debt burden and sky high costs of an area like Woodland Hills support such an endeavor unless his wife decided to work up through her pregnancy and soon after birth. And let's face it, not too many women out there want to send their babies to day care from 3 months old. Alas, the two income household has become the norm but with pathetically low salaries coupled with soul crushing nondischargeable debt burdens having a single family income as an attorney is downright impossible unless you hit the biglaw lottery never ending pie eating contest.

But lets not forget, as the job ad states, the position entails "Civil Litigation, and Consumer Protection Class Actions" which translated equals to YOU WILL WORK TIL 8PM SLAVE NEVER EVER FORGET THAT WE OWN YOUR ASS NOW AND YOU WILL EARN EVERY FUCKING PENNY OF THAT BLESSED 50K EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY 60 HOUR WEEK YOU WORK HERE.

For the lolz I looked at some other job postings on craigslist and found a listing for a massage therapist at massage envy.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/spa/3705764200.html

The therapist gets $25 to $35 per hour including tips. Lets assume $30 at 40 hours at 52 weeks. $1200 per week times 52 weeks equals $62,400.00 per year. Fucking A, a therapist will make 12k more than a 4th year attorney while working a third less with NO LOANS.
Remember, what matters is the NET EARNING so the 4th year associate at that firm will have to subtract out $1,078.00 out of his salary due to the hefty student loan baggage. So now out of the $3,083.00 net per month he earns take out the loan payment for $1,078.00 leaving him $2,005.00 net versus the therapist taking home $5,208 gross or $3,853.00 net. Even with this salary the therapist can still afford the $1800 per month 2 bedroom in Woodland Hills while the broke ass attorney will be left struggling. The debt goes right to the net which hurts the most magnifying the JD's suffering. As I'm sure you are mostly aware the federal income tax write off is $2,500.00 for student loan interest expense. Thanks again CONgress.

Pretty sorry shit when a massage therapist can easily take home nearly DOUBLE the net income than a 4th year associate attorney stressing out over drafting class action lawsuits while the therapist does his job with relaxing music. Again, the above scenario assumes that the therapist works 40 hours and recieves the average of the advertised pay rate. Even if he worked less by a few hours he would make the same up to a certain point. Even if the therapist worked, let's say 25 hours per week at $25 per hour for a total of $625.00 per week or $32,500.00 per year. Assume tax rate of 20 percent his net earnings per month is $2,166.00, STILL higher than the 4th year associate at that firm which is grinding away 60 hours per week AFTER he forks over the $1,078 per month so he can be debt free within 15 years.

 This, ladies and gentlement, is the price to pay for having a shot to dance with the big shot lawyers. That 3 year buzz in law school feels goods as all of society is rooting you on, cheering for you, telling you that you are doing the right thing. Your parents, giving you that gleeful look of approval as they see you prepare for your final exams. That girl you always liked, giving you the eye as she knows that your stock just surged through the roof. After all, lawyers make good money. Wink wink.